Is it unfair to say that unrealistic expectations are the source of all discontent? OK, maybe not all … but much discontent. Unrealistic expectations in marriage lead to frustration and conflict. Unrealistic expectations about parenting lead to shock and not as much awe as we were thinking. Unrealistic expectations about the happiness money can buy lead to emptiness. Unrealistic expectations from your church lead to dissatisfaction and whining.
And, I believe, the same is true for our relationship with God. I have listened to, watched, and experienced myself how unrealistic expectations about how God should act, what He should do, what a relationship with Him should feel like and accomplish has led to discontent, frustration, conflict, shock, emptiness, dissatisfaction and whining. We assume Jesus must do certain things. We presume that believing in Jesus must feel a certain way all the time. We expect change to occur in a particular way. And when it doesn’t then we have problems with God.
A little while ago I read an article entitled ‘Don’t Carpe Diem‘ by Glennon Melton about the reality of parenting (well worth the read!). And she makes the point that there is a difference between Chronos time and Kairos time. Chronos time is ‘regular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s starting at down the clock till bedtime time …. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.’ But Kairos time ‘is God’s time. It’s outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. It’s those magical moments in which time stands still.‘
Here is my thought. Too often we expect believing in Jesus, following Him, praying to Him to be full of Kairos time. But it is not. Our expectations are unrealistic. In fact, it may be days, or weeks, or months or even years of Chronos time. Or, as Eugene Peterson puts it, faith is a ‘long obedience in the same direction.’
So, if you – like me – often get frustrated and angry, whiny and discontent about God and your relationship with Him; perhaps we need to ask whether are expectations are realistic? Biblical? And maybe, just maybe, we would then have eyes more prone to glimpse those ‘magical kairos moments’ which we can cherish as gifts from God.
